Merry Christmas

It’s been so long since I wrote anything.  I honestly forgot I had this blog.  Things change on the daily.  It’s almost 2018.  Todd has been around for almost 2 years. He just decided to come back one day.  Now Erin has decided that we are evil incarnate. We were so horrible to her growing up and caused all her anxiety and issues.  Complete bullshit but whatever. So we haven’t seen her since March.  Aaron and Erin graduated as Juniors.  Erin just couldn’t take the stress of school anymore.  So she is working at Kroger’s/Steak n Shake depending on who you ask.  Aaron just wanted to be done with school.  He joined the Air Force June 27. We saw him graduate basic 21 years after Roy graduated.  He ended up at Sheppard Air Force Bass like Roy did.  Aaron is home now but will be going to Misawa Air Force Base in 🇯🇵 Japan after tech school. He will be there for at least 2-3 years. It’s sad for me because I just got him back.  I lost 13 years and now he is going to be so far from me.  It makes me very sad. Lacey is now 16 and learning to drive. She is field Commander for the band and they won state for 2nd year in a row.  She is still doing softball and wants to be an engineer or child therapist. All of my kids have grown up and soon will be gone.  I dread that day.  I have based my life on them.  Everything I do is for them and about them.  We tried to do foster parenting and were denied twice. First time because of the history of Roy and Jamie and Roy’s dad. They said that the decision Roy made to put his children in the presence of a known pedophile was not something they could allow. Let’s not forget that decision was made by Jamie who was sleeping with Roy’s father.  Yes eww.  Also this was over 15 years ago and I have to pay for those sins.  Then second time the reason was they could not reach Erin and according to state rules they have to talk to the adult children.  Of course they never talked to Aaron and when I called the worker on it she got more defensive.  I just gave up.  Obviously it is not meant to be.  But I’m going to be honest I’m so tired of the repercussions of Jamie still effecting my life.  I try to be a good person and not cause trouble. But what did I get from it?  Nothing but trouble and heartache.  Roy and I will be together 15 years next year and sometimes it is a hard struggle.  But what married life isn’t ?  I have loved him for so long and I know he loves me. This is how life was meant to be.