Merry Christmas

Driving home from Florida and it is cold. This is the first trip we have taken as a family trip ever and I feel that as a whole it wasn't too bad. Lacey saw the ocean and the Gulf of Mexico. Plus saw Atlanta which amazed her. We spent Xmas with my dad and Paula and that was interesting. A man who had so many rules growing up now could give a care less and it just leaves me speechless on many counts. I don't know what to think when he says drive thru the yard because he took so much pride in it growing up or we don't have to watch westerns. Do you know how many westerns I watched growing up? Really? I watched more John Wayne and Clint Eastwood than any child should have to. So Paula is good for him on many accounts. She is 14 years younger than him which makes her 14 years older than me. Kind of crazy. She is great with Lacey and nice to me so I have no issues with her. Did she steal my dad from my mom? Who knows? Do I really even care anymore? I'm sure mom cares because I'm sure if I was her I would and I know I would. Hell I still hate Jamie. But I don't have a dog in that fight. I wasn't there in that relationship and to be honest from what I could see their relationship sucked. Anyways, Christmas is over. We are driving back and well Roy is for now lol and I have to work tomorrow :( so that is all I know.....

OMG

Well I just turned 34 and that was a sobering moment.  My daughter will be 11 and Aaron will be 13 this year. What I want to know is when I got to be this old.  I mean 34 is old.  I have kids coming into the clinic that are 16-18 and could be my kids...  That is a sad day.  I am moving out the cool "hot" mom and into "Hey you are Lacey's mom"  phase.  I love being her mom but that is how I am defined now.  I wanted more kids too but unfortunately a tubal done as a last resort to keep from having more spawns with Satan that is looking less likely as a feasible option.  That is the saddest part.  I know the older I get the less chance I have of having a perfectly normal baby (even tho truth be told neither of mine are normal lol )  But my point is the older I am the more chance of birth defects there is to be had.   But that is a battle that can't be fought or won over night. 


My dad has been trying to reach out to me since his divorce from mom.  He has called and came over to see Aaron when he was here last weekend.  Yet, I cant tell my mother that or anything else because I will get the third degree.  So that sucks but I am sure this too will pass.