Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Lacey and santa
Being the mom I am I am trying to feel out if my child still believes in Santa because while I dont want to take away her youth I do believe she is the lone believer in it all and it is hard to explain why now she is the only one getting presents. So I asked if she did and she said "of course mom". I asked her how she knew and she told me "well Erin saw her one year and that was the year they got scooters"(2006). Then she said that "one year (2008) that you did not have any money Santa brought her me of presents". I wanted to tell her no Toys for Tots did that but hey whatever makes her young still. She also reasoned that no mom or dad would eat all those cookies and I replied well it is a good thing Santa is not lactose intolerant. LOL. So Santa will again be taking up in form in our house. Oh yeah the way Santa gets in everyone's house he has a master key. Why can't I borrow Santa's key when I lock myself out?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Seriously ppl?
For those I am about to offend I am sorry...
I work in Pediatrics and it amazes me how inept parents are. I honestly feel that in order to have kids you should have to pass a test of some sort. When people choose to adopt the have to have their income , background, and medical history evaluated. Most times there is a psych eval but to have a kid you just have to be willing. I know that is judgmental but I have become a cynic. I see many parents who have no clue how to care for their child. How to take a temperature or how to give Tylenol. Just because your child just vomited does not mean they need to come to the office so that they can puke in my waiting room or infect the children that came for well child visits. Unless your child has vomited a lot in a short time they do not need to be seen. If they have a rash, try some benadryl. If that does not work, then call me. If they had a fever and now have a rash, it may be caused by that fever. If you can run your hand over it and it disappears, it is viral. Now I know that some of my knowledge comes from working in pediatrics and having kids but I also took these things called infant care classes and those were helpful. I had one parent who called because their child got bit by their house cat (who has never been outside) and wanted to know that since the cats rabies vaccine expired two months ago if they should get their child the rabies shot. I literally had to put the phone on hold because I was in shock and could not decide to laugh or cry. There is also the parents whose kids have asthma but they still continue to smoke and not give their child the treatments the child needs and wants to know why their pulmonary function test is bad. I also love the parents who have children with genetic problems but instead of stopping the reproducing they continue to have children....Um Hello unless you change either the mother or father you have a very high chance of the same result. I know people want to have more children and have this great desire to have children but sometimes common sense has to prevail.
Now I know we have a diverse population in KY but would it really hurt that if your child is being seen to bring an interpreter? I would never go to a foreign country and not know how to articulate my needs. We are not kidnapping these people so they should learn some of our language.
My last issue deals with Facebook. There is a certain person who has blocked me from their profile. I know this person and while we don't see eye to eye is it really necessary to block me? I thought we are all adults and this is just petty. If I really wanted to know what was going on, I could just access that page through Roy's account. It is not like it is a big secret and truth be told that person is not really doing anything that is worth my energy. I just thought that at this point in the game we could move past the history and grow up. I know I do have lapses on this and get stuck on history and want to dwell. Lord knows I am the queen of woulda, shoulda, couldas. I live my whole life wondering what might have been.... What if I had not married the kid's dad? What if I had left after I had Aaron? What if I had went to college after high school instead of taking the detour I did? But at this point while this does keep me up at night a lot I still know I am 32 and those are things I can not change. I would not have Lacey or Aaron nor would I have the job I love even if I spent a majority of time ranting about it. I know I have a lot to be thankful for but I do feel better now.
I work in Pediatrics and it amazes me how inept parents are. I honestly feel that in order to have kids you should have to pass a test of some sort. When people choose to adopt the have to have their income , background, and medical history evaluated. Most times there is a psych eval but to have a kid you just have to be willing. I know that is judgmental but I have become a cynic. I see many parents who have no clue how to care for their child. How to take a temperature or how to give Tylenol. Just because your child just vomited does not mean they need to come to the office so that they can puke in my waiting room or infect the children that came for well child visits. Unless your child has vomited a lot in a short time they do not need to be seen. If they have a rash, try some benadryl. If that does not work, then call me. If they had a fever and now have a rash, it may be caused by that fever. If you can run your hand over it and it disappears, it is viral. Now I know that some of my knowledge comes from working in pediatrics and having kids but I also took these things called infant care classes and those were helpful. I had one parent who called because their child got bit by their house cat (who has never been outside) and wanted to know that since the cats rabies vaccine expired two months ago if they should get their child the rabies shot. I literally had to put the phone on hold because I was in shock and could not decide to laugh or cry. There is also the parents whose kids have asthma but they still continue to smoke and not give their child the treatments the child needs and wants to know why their pulmonary function test is bad. I also love the parents who have children with genetic problems but instead of stopping the reproducing they continue to have children....Um Hello unless you change either the mother or father you have a very high chance of the same result. I know people want to have more children and have this great desire to have children but sometimes common sense has to prevail.
Now I know we have a diverse population in KY but would it really hurt that if your child is being seen to bring an interpreter? I would never go to a foreign country and not know how to articulate my needs. We are not kidnapping these people so they should learn some of our language.
My last issue deals with Facebook. There is a certain person who has blocked me from their profile. I know this person and while we don't see eye to eye is it really necessary to block me? I thought we are all adults and this is just petty. If I really wanted to know what was going on, I could just access that page through Roy's account. It is not like it is a big secret and truth be told that person is not really doing anything that is worth my energy. I just thought that at this point in the game we could move past the history and grow up. I know I do have lapses on this and get stuck on history and want to dwell. Lord knows I am the queen of woulda, shoulda, couldas. I live my whole life wondering what might have been.... What if I had not married the kid's dad? What if I had left after I had Aaron? What if I had went to college after high school instead of taking the detour I did? But at this point while this does keep me up at night a lot I still know I am 32 and those are things I can not change. I would not have Lacey or Aaron nor would I have the job I love even if I spent a majority of time ranting about it. I know I have a lot to be thankful for but I do feel better now.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Hi this is me!!!!
I am a 32 year old momma to 4 kids. Well technically only 2 are mine and if you want to be critical I only have one kid. I say this because my oldest is in the custody of my ex-husband. Aaron is my oldest and just turned 11. He is the child I could not wait to have. I wanted one person who would love me for who I was and not someone they wanted me to be. Turns out in the end, he wanted to live with his father. That is not to say he does not love me because I know he does but it still stings when at 3 he chose his daddy. We split the kids so my ex would not have to pay child support and I was too afraid at that time to challenge him. My next child is Lacey. She will be 9 in November. She was the child I did not expect to have. About the time I got pregnant with her, I was getting ready to leave my ex-husband. I had spent many years being abused and I had had enough of it. I was ready to leave and even had an exit plan. I stayed because I got pregnant. I don't blame Lacey for the reason I stayed. I was the one who did not insure I did not get pregnant. Lacey has become my prized child. When I left her dad she was 15 months and I think since I had had my tubes tied (because her dad forced me) I knew she was the child that would be the one that I would pin all my hopes and dreams on. I idolize her and would sacrifice my whole being for. She became everything that Aaron was not. I have two step-children. The first I will be mention is Erin due to there is more to the story of Todd. Erin is 6 weeks younger than my Aaron. She is smart and funny and very artistic. Her and Lacey have grown up like sisters. When I got with her dad Erin was 3 1/2 so they think they are sisters. They fight and love each other the same even if they do not show it all the time. Todd is 13 and there is a back story to him. Roy and I dated 14 years ago in high school. During a date with the children's mother to say goodbye, Todd was created. Roy was going to the air force and the children's mother and him were friends so they went to dinner. I thought nothing of it...I knew he loved me and she was not his type. Back to Todd though because I will get to Roy in a minute. Todd is 13 and a very good kid. He has hit puberty and I love him and his sister. He plays baseball and tried his hardest at everything he does and he is great taking care of the girls. He considers Lacey his sister and I love him very much for it. I never have a problem out of him. He has been mine since he was six and while I am not his mother he is very loyal to me.
When I comes to Roy there is a whole lot of story. I met him when I was 17. He had a girlfriend but I really did not care. She was two years younger than us and I knew I was better for him. He flirted with me and that was all I needed. Little did I know he is a big flirt but he made me feel special and that is what I needed then. We had homeroom and American Government together. We also shared lunch but he ate that with his girlfriend. American Government was a joke of a class but I did not really care. It was time spent with Roy and all we really did was pass notes. The first time I ever got an inclination he really liked me was homecoming. He had asked me if I had a date and I said no because I was not the most popular in school. I had never had a date for any major dance. So he promised to dance with me even tho his gf was going to be there. I went to homecoming and he did dance with me and it pissed her off. But I could not care. The way I felt in his arms and him being close to me was all I needed. He eventually broke up with gf and there was still issues. He didn't want to date anyone since he was going into air force after high school or so he said. So I told him we could be friends even tho I literally wanted to die. How could I be so close and still not get what I want? I still talked to him and flirted and I am not sure what changed his mind but he wanted to date. So on February 4th we started dating. He was the first person I ever slept with and I loved him very much. If it was not for the whole baby momma thing I think we could have lasted. He went to the air force. I wrote him every day and back then there was no email so I literally wrote him letters every day. I went to Texas when he graduated basic and when I got back he told me she was pregnant. I wanted to die and thought I was going to die. I offered to even raise the child if he would stay with me. I know it is desperate but I was 18 so what do you expect? He married the mother and I met my children's dad. I married him because I did not want to be alone. He abused me from the beginning but I was too scared to leave and had nowhere to go. I had Aaron and then had Lacey. When Lacey was a year old, he started working in Tn and was gone through the week. I realized then I could do it on my own so I was working on an exit plan again. I was in school and Aaron was in preschool. So the plan was to leave at end of school. I saw in the newspaper that March that Roy's marriage had ended and I could not contain my happiness. I found his sister on a website to find your old school friends by accident. I sent her an email and within a day Roy had a profile. It seemed like destiny. We spent 7 hours one night on the phone catching up. I saw him the following week and granted we had both changed I still was in love with him. We would steal moments together as much as we could. I told my husband that I was done and not longer in love with him. We drew up divorce papers and he signed them. I left him in April and ended up moving in with Roy to be safe from my ex. Roy and I got married the following year on February 4th.
We have been married for over 6 years and we do have problems but it is nothing like I had with my previous husband. I love Roy very much and we are trying to make a life for our children.
When I comes to Roy there is a whole lot of story. I met him when I was 17. He had a girlfriend but I really did not care. She was two years younger than us and I knew I was better for him. He flirted with me and that was all I needed. Little did I know he is a big flirt but he made me feel special and that is what I needed then. We had homeroom and American Government together. We also shared lunch but he ate that with his girlfriend. American Government was a joke of a class but I did not really care. It was time spent with Roy and all we really did was pass notes. The first time I ever got an inclination he really liked me was homecoming. He had asked me if I had a date and I said no because I was not the most popular in school. I had never had a date for any major dance. So he promised to dance with me even tho his gf was going to be there. I went to homecoming and he did dance with me and it pissed her off. But I could not care. The way I felt in his arms and him being close to me was all I needed. He eventually broke up with gf and there was still issues. He didn't want to date anyone since he was going into air force after high school or so he said. So I told him we could be friends even tho I literally wanted to die. How could I be so close and still not get what I want? I still talked to him and flirted and I am not sure what changed his mind but he wanted to date. So on February 4th we started dating. He was the first person I ever slept with and I loved him very much. If it was not for the whole baby momma thing I think we could have lasted. He went to the air force. I wrote him every day and back then there was no email so I literally wrote him letters every day. I went to Texas when he graduated basic and when I got back he told me she was pregnant. I wanted to die and thought I was going to die. I offered to even raise the child if he would stay with me. I know it is desperate but I was 18 so what do you expect? He married the mother and I met my children's dad. I married him because I did not want to be alone. He abused me from the beginning but I was too scared to leave and had nowhere to go. I had Aaron and then had Lacey. When Lacey was a year old, he started working in Tn and was gone through the week. I realized then I could do it on my own so I was working on an exit plan again. I was in school and Aaron was in preschool. So the plan was to leave at end of school. I saw in the newspaper that March that Roy's marriage had ended and I could not contain my happiness. I found his sister on a website to find your old school friends by accident. I sent her an email and within a day Roy had a profile. It seemed like destiny. We spent 7 hours one night on the phone catching up. I saw him the following week and granted we had both changed I still was in love with him. We would steal moments together as much as we could. I told my husband that I was done and not longer in love with him. We drew up divorce papers and he signed them. I left him in April and ended up moving in with Roy to be safe from my ex. Roy and I got married the following year on February 4th.
We have been married for over 6 years and we do have problems but it is nothing like I had with my previous husband. I love Roy very much and we are trying to make a life for our children.
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