I have sat at a few funerals and the last one I went to told me what I don't want. I want the person who is doing all the talking to know me. Or at least my family. I don't need a preacher. Lord knows I don’t believe in god.
I also want them to know my vital statistics. Know when I was born. I was born on a Monday bright and early at 227am during the winter storm of 78. So bad my gramper called by mom everyday asking how she was going to have me and her only reply was I guess I will meet ambulance at end of road.
The last funeral was off by a month on birthday and he was reading from her info. Also don't read from a card. Everyone there has all ready seen that info. Tell them things about me. Tell them I won most likely to succeed in 8th grade. Tell them I was most outstanding graduate at bctc. Tell them I won student of the month 5 times at Arlington. Tell them I was ranked 36 out of 276 when I graduated high school. Tell them I did all of this with anxiety and thinking I had no friends or people who understood me. Tell people I found the courage to leave a man who eventually obliterated everyone dear to me. But I did it. Tell them I hope he went before me so I got the last laugh.
Tell them Psalms 23. It's the only bible verse I want. I don't really believe in god but I love this one verse
Have someone tell how I was a good person. I may not ever believe it but I would like to think I am.
Most of all, from the time I was little I wanted to be a mom. So I hope one or all of my kids will tell them I did good and while I know this day is hard I want if I can hear to know they loved me bc I love them all. Tell them how bad I wanted Aaron. How it was so hot that summer I was pregnant and I had preeclampsia and had to be induced. How he was my whole world and I had no idea what I was doing especially as he cried with colic 6 hours a night for 4 months straight but the neighbor could rock him and he was out. Tell them how I had 2 scares and then false labor 5 times with Lacey. But I knew when she was born that she was my savior. How for the first month she slept on my chest only at night. How she was my chunky monkey. How I knew from day one she was meant for greatness. She is the reason I left their dad. Unfortunately I couldn’t save them too. Tell them how hard it was for Aaron to go to live with Joe. How I cried so much for missing him and how I did him wrong so I put all my energy into Lacey. Tell them how I loved Todd and Erin. They completed my family. I always wanted 4 kids and now I had it. I loved having them over. I may have been a horrible parent sometimes but I did try. Tell them that when Aaron joined the military it felt like I was losing him again. How I cried every-time I thought of him. How when he went to Japan my heart went with him. Tell them while Lacey was my favorite but I loved them all. I needed Lacey as much as she needed me. Roy was my soulmate but she was “my person” Life wasn’t easy.
Most of all tell them my story. Story how I met Roy and all that goes with it. How I hated him so much before our senior year. Then one class that the counselor convinced me to take changed everything. For a short amount of time he made me feel important. I didn’t care he had a girlfriend. He was like a drug and I couldn’t imagine myself with out him. I knew from then I was going to marry him. Tell them how I waited 6 months for him to make up his mind and when he did it those next months were happiest 6 months of my life. Tell them how I cried when I found about his ex wife being pregnant. How I thought I was going to die. Tell them how 7 years later I found him on a high school reunion website. We talked all night and it felt like old times. Tell them how he asked if I was fat lol. Tell them how I stood on the play equipment at the Scott County Park with Lacey and saw him walk up for the first time in 7 years. Tell them how I couldn’t believe this was real. Tell about how he “rescued me”. How I “forced” him to marry me. Tell them how pretty I was in my wedding gown. Then tell them life wasn’t easy for us. We had little money for a long time and I was a spoiled brat. Tell them how I wanted another kid and he didn’t. How he found someone else and left me. How I cried and lost 40 pounds in 2 weeks. How I couldn’t imagine why this was happening. Then how he came back and then I ruined it again. Then we decided this was what we wanted. How I never wanted another. How even on the worst days I didn’t leave. This was the man I was going to grow old with. How I hoped he died before me because I didn’t want to spend a day on this earth without him. Tell them he was my soulmate.
I define myself by him and the kids. So that's what I want my funeral about. I want everyone to know that I was somebody who will be missed because there are days I wonder if I ever will be.
Tell them how I had migraines and I still tried to be someone who enjoyed life but there were days I just wanted it to all end. Tell them how I scared I would get in social settings and if Roy left me to do something else I would freak out. Tell them I was a Medical Assistant and I loved it. I loved pediatrics and loved helping people. Even if my biggest pet peeve was stupid people. It was an oxymoron of sorts
Also pick some upbeat music and no go rest high on that mountain or any other sad country music. Play It's your Love and something I love.Also play 100 years 5 for fighting. But don't make the people cry over music. Mainly I just want a bunch of people to hear about me. Me who has just wanted to be important all her life and be loved. That is all I ever wanted. To be someone’s first choice.
So when it comes time for mine everyone says will wish they had knew me as well as everyone talking. I know I have flaws and I don't care if they are mentioned bc we all have them. I just want to be remembered.
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